Love, Loss and Grief

Heartache, heartbreak, a broken heart. What happens when the relationship ends?

I believe that to love and be loved is one of the greatest experiences you can give and receive in your life.

Multiple times in one lifetime, is a blessing.

But what is hardly ever spoken about is the other side of love. Loss.

The loss of a love can be an intense experience, especially when it’s unexpected. Although I’ve been on both sides, being on the receiving end of a love walking away has been pure agony.

Truth be told, if you were to ask me if I’d do it again knowing the outcome would be the same, my answer would be YES. Absolutely.

Why?

Simply because I feel a love loved, is never a love lost.

That passionate, intense, exciting, deeply devouring love is such a gift that my soul needed to experience, no matter how temporary.

Honestly, a good part of me knew it wouldn’t be forever, but I still went fully in, heart ablaze, yoni open and savoured every moment. Every touch, hug, kiss, laugh, look, gaze, and time spent making love was that more precious because of my knowing of its potential to expire at any moment.

Something about knowing that it will all end, just like in death, makes life sweeter. So do those moments with your beloved that stand still in your heart.

These kinds of love – the short, temporary and sporadic have been some of the greatest teachers in my life. I got to experience the fire, passion, and intensity for however long the flames burned bright. Yet, I learned rather quickly, fire eventually turns to ashes. If the other elements are not present in balance to build a lasting foundation, the roots will not take.

There is always a death that takes place in romantic relationships. Sometimes temporarily in intervals and sometimes a complete halt, stop and final ending.

The finale is the hardest, especially when you’re not ready to let go. I wasn’t ready, never am. I’m not sure if it was the perceived rejection, abandonment or the empty space once occupied by the other that hurt so bad. Likely, a combination of all three.

Still, I am so grateful for the love that walked away, left and denied me continued access to their heart. Ultimately, without knowing, they granted me the gifts of freedom, alignment and finding my way back home to my soul.

Although a gift, the ending of a relationship is hard. It hurts and can be complete suffering for a while. I honoured that and suggest you do too. Whether you are the one doing the walking away, or the one that feels left, both are initiations into grief and the unknown.

Grieve, cry, be angry, write letters you never send, curse out loud, feel the pain of it all, do whatever you must to let the emotions move.

e-motions = energy in motion

Emotions must move or will be calcified in the body to be relived over and over again. I had to learn to use the energy and momentum of grief to forge a new path: One that has brought me closer to my soul. One that reminds me all the ways I am loved. One that has made me reassess my needs, wants and desires. Perhaps most importantly, one that taught me how to be committed and consistent with myself.

Are you ready for your heart to open more?

Then love with your heart wide open, and be not afraid of the eventual loss and grief it brings.