Do I even know what it means to be desired, not in the moment when it's happening, but before?

When Naiyegee's close friend reveals his attraction to her, something within her awakens.

This sharing comes from my experience as a female, and there is an invitation to meet yourself through these words, in relating to your gender identity.

A close male friend opened up to me weeks ago, sharing that for years he had held back from saying that he desires me, every part of me, my voice, my skin, my hair, my thoughts, my stance in life and much more.

I have experienced wanting. I know what it means to seek for myself, to respond to my desire when in the company of a man. Yet, I do not know what it means to be desired … not in the moment when it’s happening, in moments when I am relating with a man.

My conversation with my friend opened a new gateway for me. As I sat with my body, with nature, something began to flow inside me, a river of excitement, of arousal, of clarity and of breath.

Being desired by him resonates like spring in my body, coming to my senses, waking up to life, witnessing newness in what seems familiar, curiosity and a warming up in my belly. I hear an echo of life from someone not in my world and my senses begin to meet what the other is meeting in me. There is reciprocity in being desired and feeling desired. It feels like breathing into and through each other.

I have witnessed an internal movement these past weeks, I have been experiencing being desired that precedes any physical act. It’s a wake that ripples across my body and right now, my brain is trying hard to grasp what is.

Here now, I am met with the other; and the other comes with the gift of containment, of holding and presence. Here is an opening I can choose to lean into. As a woman, I have associated containment with control, yet they are not the same.

Safety is key to dropping into the experience of being contained by another. I am at a point in my life where I evolve with my sense of safety in my body, and my body as my compass, is guiding and whispering.

I have never allowed myself to drop into the space offered by a man and to be held within that space, to know that here now, he leads, he holds, he whispers and he breathes.

I have been meeting this special man there in that space, we have not touched, we have not even kissed and like the glory of spring and the heights of summer, I have been dancing on the orgasmic waves of experiencing being desired. Waters have been easing between my legs, my tummy is brewing deliciously and my breasts warm up to the experience of being desired.

I am sitting with a heart-opening lesson, the experience of being desired is readying me for mating. Just like earth needs to be ploughed, aired, shifted and watered to the right level to receive a seed, similarly my inner world has been moving, juicing, easing and preparing to receive and be received in the act of lovemaking.

With love from my heart to yours.

With love from my womb to yours.